A Nice Cuppa

I was raised LDS. That???s Mormon to most people. It???s pretty common knowledge that there are some strict rules for Mormons, especially in the food and drink department. Coffee is evil. It is on the same par as cigarettes, alcohol and drug abuse. At a Mormon summer camp, a girl in my cabin was ???busted??? with coffee-flavored candy and asked to leave.
Technically, Mormon scripture doesn???t mention coffee by name; rather it falls under the heading of ???strong drinks.??? And strong drinks are to be avoided. It???s a rare occurrence to walk into a Mormon household and smell freshly brewed coffee. And if you do find a Mormon in a coffee shop, you???d better believe that guilt and shame shroud them. My mother was frowned at for keeping an ancient jar of Folgers Instant Coffee in the cupboard for visitors. In my early childhood, I believed that drinking coffee was a dirty, deadly habit, and those who did would soon lament their choices.

By the time I turned 10, I had a reputation at church for asking a lot of questions. A lot of these questions involved asking ???What???s so wrong with drinking coffee or wine on occasion? Is God really going to strike someone down for a latte???? No one appreciated my attitude. At this point, I had decided that perhaps this wasn???t the place for me. My opinions about actually drinking coffee took longer to shake.

In areas with large LDS populations, Mormon teenagers are notorious for their wild ways; rampant drinking, smoking, drug use. I tried many of these things, but really, it took a lot of time hiding those behaviors. It just wasn???t worth the time commitment. But coffee is everywhere. I could keep my rebellion going. My older sister and I would sneak out for gas station cappuccinos, giggling while we sipped. Of course, gum and mints had to be employed to cover our tracks. Eventually this too got old, as most rebellions do. Coffee became an occasional thing, a passive aggressive way of showing displeasure with my parents. I don???t recall actually enjoying coffee, just covertly drinking it. Then feeling guilty about it.

In most LDS households, whether you believe the church or not, you maintain the proper behavior. No drinking, no smoking, and absolutely no coffee. So even after I???d informed my parents that I would not be following their religion any further, I still attended all church meetings, pretending to shower disdain and pity upon my non-Mormon classmates, all the while just counting the days until I could give up the charade.

I moved to the Midwest for college. During that time I really only drank coffee to stay awake after all-nighters. I still hid my coffee drinking like a closet speed freak. Pounding down whatever form of the beverage I could find, but never with other people present, and always feeling guilty afterwards. It felt like a terrible vice I just couldn???t confess. I knew, logically, that there was nothing wrong with drinking coffee. But like anyone raised in strict religions will tell you, the guilt lingers on.

Once college was finished, I decided that I needed to start being more honest with my parents. After I turned 21, I refused to hide my occasional glass of wine from my family and made reference to visiting bars. A few eyebrows were raised, but no one said anything; perhaps because these events were so infrequent. I started working in an office job, where ???going for coffee??? was a morning event. In the interest of making friends at the office, I joined them. Thus started my daily coffee drinking. Eventually, I bought a coffee pot for my own home. When my parents came to visit, I didn???t hide the wine glasses, left the communal ashtrays out, but still felt the need to put the coffee pot in the back of my cupboard. Even as I did this, I thought ???Of all the things I could hide, I???m choosing to hide my coffee? This is slightly ridiculous.??? On some level, the fear of addiction may be the culprit. Mormon???s preach against addiction in any form, be it chocolate or heroin. In this respect, a daily coffee habit is more damaging than a weekly cocktail.

Eventually, I stopped hiding the coffee. I???m an adult; I???ve been out of the house for many years. I haven???t practiced the religion in more than a decade. And most of the time, I don???t feel anything but enjoyment during my morning coffee ritual. Honesty rid me of the guilt. I keep the French press on the counter when my mom comes to town. But, I still haven???t worked up the nerve to actually drink a cup in front of her. And maybe I never will. But, between her visits, coffee and I get along just fine, thank you.