A Nice Cuppa

When I was single, I hated Valentine’s Day. Nothing could smack me over the head more about being alone than the weeks leading up to the biggest Hallmark holiday of the year. But now that I am married, I still hate it. It’s like a mentality that you should set one day a year aside to show your sweetheart how you feel about them, or to celebrate your relationship but in truth, it’s something you ought to be doing every day of the year, not just on February 14th.

My marriage will be five this year. It’s not a lot, I know, but it’s something to this gal who didn’t find her Prince until she was 37. There are many, many blessings in my relationship with him that I could never even begin to recount before falling under the spell of the love that they describe. One day a year isn’t enough for me to show him all the joy he has brought to my life. Early on in our marriage, when he would arise before me to start working, he would brew a pot of coffee and when it was my time to rise, he would bring a steaming cup to the bedroom and leave in on my table. A gentle wake up kiss would accompany that cup. It wasn’t long before it became routine, and even when I was rising for culinary school at 4:45am, he would rise with me and more often, before me, to brew the coffee and bring me a steaming hot cup. If he wanted some extra Z’s, I would get up and be the one to bring him his cup. Always, there is the wake-up kiss too. Even if I am awake and the pot is brewing, he will pour the perfect amount of milk in the bottom of my favorite mug, fill it in with coffee, then bring the steaming cup to wherever I am sitting. With a kiss, too. If he is hard at work in his home office, or on the phone and the pot is fresh, I will grab his cup, refill it and quietly place it on his desk for him before tip-toeing out of his hair.

With every cup that is brought to my bedside, or gently placed in my hands as I admire the morning light, or refilled as he works, it’s yet another way that we show each other how much it means to us that we share our lives. It’s compelling in its simplicity, yet profound in it’s meaning. We can be experiencing any amount of the inevitable ebb and flow of our marriage, but no matter where the barometer of our feelings lies, the coffee is always brewed and the cups passed without fail, including that kiss. There is really nothing more wonderful than that. I don’t need roses, I don’t want jewelry and I don’t need a sappy card. The cuppa joe is all I need, and the smiling face that comes along with it for my good morning kiss.

The Cowboy Junkies have a song called The Anniversary Song that talks about the joys of sharing your life with someone, and in the song they sing:

” Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
as when you wake
by the side of that boy or girl
who has pledged their love to you?

Well I have known all these things
and the joys that they can bring
And now every morning there’s a cup of coffee
and I wear your ring”

I know that feeling, and it’s more joyful than words can describe.