But we???ve entered into entirely new territory. We???ve taken a junk food item so ubiquitous it could practically pass for water if it wasn???t so hopped up on sugar, and we???ve reinvented it in a way that is all at once grotesque, curious and questionably quite delicious.

Get ready for it, folks. Deep-fried Coke is here.

At a state fair in Dallas, Texas this past September, a vendor offering deep-fried Coca-Cola created a buzz not solely of the caffeinated kind. His unusual treat was deemed ???most creative,??? as unabashed fair-goers indulged in the gooey sweetness left and right. Another state fair in North Carolina offered the same, complete in a Coke-branded paper cup with, naturally, a cherry on top.

The unlikely dessert is made by combining Coke with your standard funnel cake batter and frying it in globs. The little pieces of heaven are then placed in a cup, dusted heartily with powdered sugar, soaked liberally in a Coke syrup, and, in case your teeth aren???t hurting yet, topped with whipped cream.

So for all those of the doubting persuasion who thought it was impossible to fry a liquid, look no further. It can be done. And it’s coming to a state fair near you.

Drink (eat?) up.

Now we live in an era where just plain diet won???t do. We have demystified the chemical happiness of just about everything we eat, and this intense scrutiny makes for some interesting marketing gimmicks and desperate product offerings that want to assure an authenticity, a truer taste, a more natural formula. The only problem is, we didn???t eschew saccharine in favor of natural, earth-made products; we simply traded it in for a wider variety of more sophisticated chemicals. Which, in this competitive global marketplace, are forced to compete with all the other sophisticated chemicals. And now it???s an all-out dog-and-pony show of cola at my local supermarket.

Let???s survey the scene. Diet Coke?? now exists in no less than seven formulas: Diet, Diet Caffeine Free, Diet Coke with Splenda??, Coke Zero, Diet Cherry Vanilla Coke, Diet Coke with Lime, and Diet Coke with Lemon. Flavor selection notwithstanding, that???s a freakish number of options for sweetener alone. It used to be that if you didn???t want the sugar content of real Coke, you???d get Diet and be happy. But now you can choose from traditional diet, Splenda diet, and???Zero? What does that even mean?

I am perplexed and fascinated by the veritable smorgasbord of diet drink offerings. I often find myself standing in front of the refrigerated drinks case in a ridiculous state of indecision. With so many choices comes a certain element of pressure ??? will I make the right choice? Would Coke Zero really be better than Diet Coke with Splenda? Is there a Zero with Splenda? Or a Diet with Zero? These questions will typically keep me stymied for a minute or two, until I recognize the insanity of this internal debate, grab whichever bottle is closest, and go on my merry way. But my insatiable curiosity has a need to understand why a simple soda necessitates so many options. So I ventured on a taste-testing mission. And this sums up what I found: they???re all basically the same.

Diet Coke is the old standby. It???s slightly sharp, not too sweet, very fizzy.

But Diet Coke with Splenda is not much different. It???s the tiniest bit sweeter, and just a tad flatter. Not that you would notice either of these differences if you weren???t tasting them side by side.

And then there’s Coke Zero ??? the biggest mystery of all. There???s barely a discernible difference, except perhaps that it???s vaguely less sweet than the other two. And I mean vaguely.

So what???s the bottom line? The marketers at Coke are geniuses. They???ve managed to create multiple versions of essentially the exact same thing, slap on flashy labels of varying colors, and sell them by the millions. So the Coke Zero slurpers can feel that they???ve made a smarter choice than those silly saccharine drinkers, and those with Splenda in their cola can rest assured that their respective lab rats are healthy and cancer free.

Still, at the end of the day, they all taste the same with my burger and fries.

There are many trendy chocolatiers that infuse dark chocolate truffles with Earl Grey leaves, and the effect is all at once delicious and mysterious ??? those eating them are often perplexed, not quite able to place a flavor that???s all at once familiar yet elusive. The tea leaves work so well in chocolate because they enhance its already rich and fragrant flavor, making for a surprisingly sexy accompaniment.

But this tea???s repertoire doesn???t stop at chocolate truffles. Earl Grey can be even more seductive when allowed to wallow in anything creamy. The following recipe for an exquisitely decadent chocolate dessert from Bon Appetit (February 2003) draws on an Earl Grey custard drizzled over an appropriately impressive chocolate souffle.

With the colder weather closing in, it???s the ideal time of year for dinner parties. And as a final course, this show stopping dessert is positively poetic.

BITTERSWEET CHOCOLATE SOUFFLE WITH EARL GREY CUSTARD SAUCE
As seen on Epicurious.com

Sauce
6 large egg yolks
2 tablespoons plus 1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups whole milk
1/2 cup whipping cream
1 tablespoon Earl Grey tea leaves (from 3 tea bags)

Souffl??
1/3 cup whole milk
8 tablespoons sugar
2 1/2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
2 1/2 ounces bittersweet (not unsweetened) or semisweet chocolate, chopped
2 large egg yolks
5 large egg whites

For sauce:
Whisk egg yolks and 2 tablespoons sugar in medium bowl to blend well. Combine milk, cream, tea leaves, and remaining 1/2 cup sugar in heavy medium saucepan. Bring to simmer over medium heat, stirring until sugar dissolves. Gradually whisk hot milk mixture into egg yolk mixture; return to same saucepan. Stir over medium-low heat until custard thickens enough to leave path on spoon when finger is drawn across, about 8 minutes (do not boil). Immediately strain sauce into small bowl. Refrigerate uncovered until cold, at least 4 hours. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cover and keep refrigerated.)

For souffl??:
Preheat oven to 375??F. Generously butter 6-cup souffl?? dish; coat dish with sugar. Combine milk and 5 tablespoons sugar in heavy medium saucepan. Stir over medium-low heat until sugar dissolves and milk comes to simmer. Remove from heat; add both chocolates and stir until melted and smooth. Whisk in egg yolks.
Using electric mixer, beat whites in medium bowl until soft peaks form. Gradually add 3 tablespoons sugar, beating until stiff but not dry. Fold whites into warm chocolate mixture in 3 additions. Transfer mixture to prepared dish.
Bake souffl?? until just set in center and top is puffed and cracked all over, about 32 minutes. Serve souffl?? immediately with custard sauce.

Makes 6 servings.

Bon App??tit
February 2003

I???ve mentioned Mighty Leaf before (if you recall my Mother???s Day gift segment), but it warrants another nod because they make the most fabulous tea I have encountered in a bag. Founded by a husband-and-wife team in California, circa 1996, the company prides itself on redefining the ancient traditions of tea with innovation, quality and passion. Their leaves come from a wealth of sources around the tea-drinking world, and new flavors are often added to the repertoire.

Start with their black teas, for the traditionalist. A heady, perfumed Earl Grey is rich and pure. Vanilla bean is a little sassier and sweeter. If decaf or organic is your bag, they???ve got you covered, too.

But of course it doesn???t stop there. Herbal and fruit teas span ginger, mint, and lemony flavors, among others. And with the pink and purple buds scattered throughout the African Nectar variety, you???ll think the bag is almost too pretty to get wet.

You may think you???ve tried green tea before ??? say, in the little chipped cups that accompany your General Tso???s chicken at the corner Chinese restaurant? Well, green tea that may be, but the four green tea pouch varieties from Mighty Leaf are bound to altogether change your definition of the jade brew. It???s no longer a weak and bitter tea, but rather a surprisingly pleasant yet complex concoction. Their offerings draw on unique scents that reflect the care and consideration that goes into each tea selection. I???m particularly fond of Marrakesh Mint. And, a recently-introduced white tea pouch selection, White Orchard, takes heed of the zeitgeist. They also offer several other white teas in the loose.

Certainly, the loose teas are a requisite for the emphatic tea drinker, yet what makes Mighty Leaf so appealing is the thoughtfulness of the pouches they???ve designed. They???re not only bio-friendly (having just won the Best New Green Bio-Packaging award at the Specialty Coffee Association Show), they???re also artistic and convenient. Ingenious.

So check them out. With a plethora of purchasing options (sampler tins, foil-wrapped, boxed teas, loose tea) there???s something for everyone. Teaware, too (featuring their trademark clean, simple and artistically minimal design). You can find them at MightyLeaf.com.

And now your glorious heat and sunshine and long lazy days at the beach are starting to fade…

Well, not quite yet. I know we still have Labor Day to get through and that technically the season extends long into September. But I???m starting to sense that ???Fall feeling??? ??? there have been whiffs of it in the air, the weight of the imminent cold weather is starting to slowly creep in, and the Halloween and Thanksgiving trimmings are already abounding in stores. It seems that Fall gets more and more premature each year.

I happen to love the season, but it does take me a little while to mourn the end of Summer before I???m ready to fully embrace the coming of shorter days. So I thought I???d start now ??? prepare myself for Labor Day???s last hurrah and the gradual wind-down that follows. And what better way than with cake?

I eat cyclically, so come September I start stocking apples in my kitchen like no other. In the Summer, I???m all about the berries and peaches, but over the last week I???ve started reintroducing apples to my diet. As a standalone fruit, they are versatile and fundamentally perfect for desserts ??? and I don???t just mean pie. On a Sunday morning in the Fall, there???s nothing more appealing than a piping hot mug of coffee and a slice of apple cake.

This recipe I developed is for a simple cake that???s sufficiently full of apples yet not too sweet, which makes it a great accompaniment to coffee and ideal for breakfast time. Or any other time, really. Enjoy.

Apple Spice Cake

Ingredients
1 cup all-purpose flour
?? cup sugar
2 ?? tsp baking powder
?? tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
?? tsp ground cloves
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 large eggs
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/3 cup half & half
2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and chopped into small pieces
?? cup finely chopped walnuts (optional)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Butter and flour a 9-inch square pan and set aside.

Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and cloves in a large bowl. Whisk the eggs with the vanilla extract in a small bowl, then add to the flour mixture along with the oil and cream. Beat with an electric mixer until just combined. Fold in the apple pieces and walnuts.

Pour batter into the prepared pan. Place in center rack of oven and bake for 30 minutes or until top is golden brown and cake begins to pull away from edges of pan.

Cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes, then run a butter knife around edge of pan to loosen cake. Invert onto rack. Cool for another 15 minutes before slicing and eating.

Which is why I was so pleasantly surprised to come upon a deeply satisfying and authentic latte in Boston last week. On vacation there, I had breakfast at an unassuming establishment on Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge. La Luna Caffe is a small but charming place featuring authentic coffee drinks and imported Italian gelato. My cinnamon raisin bagel was just a bagel (albeit toasted to perfection), but the latte was everything I could have hoped for, and just the right thing to give me a jump start to a day of walking around the city. Most importantly, it delivered on all four things that make a great latte:

1) the crema
2) a substantially large drinking chalice
3) the perfect ratio of milk to espresso (the color should be caramel, rich, and never grayish)
4) and, the crema

I reserve the right to take liberties with the numerical list and specify crema twice because, well, I???m the writer, first of all; and, more importantly, because it???s the cornerstone of a well-made latte. And it???s the key element that???s sadly lacking in many of the aforementioned faux lattes you???ll find in abundance everywhere.

So what exactly is crema anyway?

Crema is an emulsion comprised of carbon dioxide, oils and lipids created when very finely ground espresso is brewed. It???s a rather scientific process greatly impacted by temperature, grind, bean, and other variables, but when it???s created properly the finished product is more art than science. The espresso (accessorized with crema) is then poured into steaming milk and voila, you have a latte.

The crema on a latte should be rich yet light, bitter yet slightly sweet in aftertaste, mellow yet bold. It should be a complex paradox of taste bud stimulation. It???s more than just the cherry on the sundae ??? although it???s situated organically at the top of the drink, it truly filters through the entire cup and caps off each sip.

Unfortunately, La Luna Caffe is a rather impractical five-hour drive from my house, which is to say it???s not exactly conducive to a stopover for my morning cup. So until I???m up in the Boston area again, I guess I???ll just have to continue my quest for a quality latte in the central New Jersey area. I know the good crema is out there somewhere.

It seems all you have to do is add the word ???latte,??? or better yet, ???frappe,??? to the end of a coffee-based beverage, and you can automatically up the price by two or three dollars. Sometimes more. But what???s really going into these drinks? And is it all worth the price?

Let???s break it down:

Every drink must start with the beans. But the beans used at most coffee houses are nothing to write home about ??? you???ll find your standard-issue sack of roast and typically no discernable difference in taste compared to what you can buy in the supermarket and brew at home.

According to a 2002 article in the Chicago Tribune, the actual coffee (aka the beans) only make up for about 10% of the total cost of the beverage when it???s given to you in the cup at a chain like Dunkin??? Donuts. And even when the cost of beans to wholesale buyers decreases, as it did beginning in the late 90???s, much to the detriment of the coffee grower, the cost to the patron at the local Starbucks has only gone up. According to quotecoffee.com, which provides a live update on the cost of coffee, a pound is currently running for 14.41 cents (at press time). So you have to figure that the amount going into your mocha latte is worth only a few pennies from the tip cup.

Then there???s the milk. What???s so expensive about milk? It only costs the coffee shop merchant about $1.99 per gallon, which translates to about a quarter for the amount they pour in your latte. So far, the cost to the shop adds up to the kind of loose change you find buried in the couch cushions.

Flavors. This is where they get you. Every squirt of chocolate syrup, vanilla syrup, hazelnut syrup, raspberry syrup, or other flavor you want to put in your drink can up the price of the drink by a dollar or more.

Whipped cream. Because clearly, no drink would be complete without a spiraling mountain of it on top, right? Or in any case, this is what the average barista will try to persuade you of, with the innocuous yet convincing plea, ???Whipped cream on that???? (said with a tempting glint in the eye). Three squirts from a pressurized can ??? 50 cents more.

Top it off with a dash of cinnamon or a squirt of chocolate (as if you really need that on top of everything else), and suddenly the cashier is ringing up a whopping $4.25. And the cost of ingredients is probably, oh, about $0.37.

According to WetFeet.com, the average cost of a cup of coffee in New York is around $3.30. Yet, we continue to line up in drooling droves, desperate for our daily sugary caffeinated fix. Which, try as I might, just never tastes quite the same when I make it at home. So the coffee shops we worship are starting to seem very much like profit centers. And I have to wonder: am I in the wrong business?

(Hmmm???I can see the Kate???s Caf?? shingle already???)

Sure, there???s undoubtedly something social and inviting about cutting a slab out of a big apple pie or digging into a whole tray of brownies to share with friends. But on the flip side, there???s something rather whimsical ??? and very palatable ??? about miniature and personalized desserts. It???s not necessarily about portion control, either, but rather the illusion of having a whole pristine dessert to yourself. Let???s face it: plunging a fork into your own personal cake feels gleefully indulgent.

So it is in the spirit and celebration of diminutive desserts that I offer you the following recipe:

MINIATURE CAPPUCCINO CHEESECAKES

Ingredients

Crust
1 1/3 cups graham crackers
1/3 cup sugar
?? tsp salt
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

Filling
1 ?? 8-oz. packages cream cheese, softened at room temperature
2/3 cup sugar
2 eggs, at room temperature
1/3 cup sour cream
?? tsp vanilla
1 ?? tsp espresso powder

Equipment
12-cup regular muffin tin

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Combine all ingredients for crust in a bowl until well mixed. Using your fingers, press the crumb mixture into the bottoms and slightly up the sides of each cup in the muffin tin, making sure the bottoms are fully covered. Bake the crusts for 5-7 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from oven and set on a rack to cool.

Lower oven temperature to 350 degrees.
In a large bowl, make the filling by beating the cream cheese with the sugar until well blended. Add the eggs, one at a time, and continue beating until incorporated. Beat in the sour cream and vanilla.

Pour half of cream cheese mixture into a separate bowl and stir in the espresso powder until fully dissolved.

Scoop one spoonful of plain cream cheese mixture, followed by one spoonful of espresso mixture, into each of the prepared crusts, filling the cups ?? full.

Bake for 22-25 minutes or until cheesecakes are set around the edges but still slightly jiggly in the middle (they will firm up as they cool). Set tin on a rack to cool for five minutes, then run a knife gently around the edge of the tops of each cheesecake. Leave on rack until completely cooled, then run knife around cakes to the bottom of each crust until they are completely loose. Carefully prop them out with the knife and set in the refrigerator for at least an hour before serving.

Bonus: they freeze beautifully, so you can have them on hand for a last minute dinner party dessert.

There was the Baked Potato Phase, the Milkshake Phase (one of my favorites), the Avocado Phase, and, that good old standby, the Cereal Phase (Frosted Flakes are the choice du jour, por favor).

Naturally, that is not to say that these are the only foods I eat, but rather that I consume them in rather copious amounts relative to everything else I am consuming during that arbitrary period of a week or a month or so.

So I happen to have found myself in a Soy Milk Phase, not for any reason other than that I thought I???d try it out. I???m not a vegan, nor even a vegetarian, or any other ???arian for that matter. I eat (moderately) across all food groups. But there???s been so much fuss about soy milk ??? the lovers, the haters, the dieticians who praise it for its isoflavones ??? that I figured it was about time I broke past my gut reaction (???ew???) and tried out the somewhat inexplicable beverage (how any kind of milk could come from any kind of bean just boggles my little brain).

Well it just so turns out that my body apparently loves isoflavones, because I have grown very fond of soy milk. Er, let me amend that to say, I have grown very fond of flavored soy milk (I have not yet been brave enough to test the waters of plain old regular soy milk, given that I barely even like plain old regular cow milk, when it???s not there for the purpose of making my Frosted Flakes go down just right).

But enough digressing. My duty here is to spread the word about a particular kind of soy milk, the latest in my obsession ??? Silk Coffee Soylatte. I noticed it in the refrigerator section of my grocery store containing all the highfalutin organic products (the ones that wrinkle their nose at all the scary artificial products that taste so darn good) and thought I???d give it a shot. I???ll admit I ventured into it a tad skeptically, because there aren???t many bottled coffee drinks ??? even of the non-organic variety ??? that do much for me. Yet to my very joyful surprise, this was not only nutritious, it was just about the best bottled coffee drink I???ve tried (those madcap soy milk people will stun you yet!). And now I can???t get enough of it.

What I like about this drink is that it???s got a nice, mild coffee flavor and it???s not too much of anything ??? cloying, nor artificial tasting, nor sweet, nor ???aftertasty??? (which is not a real word, but henceforth I think should be). The only things it has in mass amounts are vitamins and antioxidants. And who can have too many of those?

Furthermore, if I haven???t sold you yet, it comes not only in the standard on-the-go bottles that travel ever so conveniently in your car cup-holder, but also in full size cartons to stock in your fridge so you are never far from your soy latte fix (those madcap soy milk people are resourceful, too!). It???s my new favorite way to start my morning.

Silk also comes in Mocha and Chai varieties, so you simply have no excuse not to try it. And when you do, don???t be surprised if you involuntary fall into a Soy Milk Phase.

Don???t worry, your body will thank you for it.

We all know coffee is a great stimulant to drink, sometimes even to eat (when it???s inflicting its jolting powers into ice cream, for instance), but it can have equally miraculous powers of rejuvenating and energizing when applied to the exterior of your body. Which is why you???ll see it abound in various spa treatments, both of the home variety and the full-service kind.

At the Mauna Lani Resort on the Kohala Coast in Hawaii, for instance, the ???Get Real??? Kona Coffee treatment uses Hawaiian coffee in an exfoliating mix that is massaged onto the body for a glorious hour and twenty minutes. It is said to ???stimulate circulation??? ??? but at the very least, you can count on it smelling damn good.

Or, if you???re more of the granola type, try the Skamania Lodge in Oregon. This nature lover???s spa offers the Coffee and Sea Kelp Contour Wrap, which combines coffee with other ingredients to detox the body and, as a bonus, soften the skin.

Other spas nationwide offering therapies containing coffee claim benefits of anti-aging, anti-cellulite, anti-fatigue, anti-stress and every other anti- you might look for in a preventative or restorative spa treatment. We can???t necessarily validate any of these claims, but we can bet that they???re fun to try out.

A quicker and more pocketbook-friendly option is to create your own coffee-inspired feel-good potion at home. Simply take two tablespoons of ground coffee, one tablespoon of granulated sugar, a splash of water and a few squirts of unscented moisturizing lotion. Stir it up in a bowl to make a spreadable paste and slather on feet, legs, and arms in the shower. It???ll perk you up before you???ve even had your morning cup.
And, a bonus ??? it???ll make your skin delightfully smooth too.